I’m here. I’m here. Chairman of the Joint Chief of Sexiness. Happy Monday, everyone. So with Trump’s election, Mexico is now planning to strengthen its borders. This as Canada also cracks down on illegal immigration. When asked why, officials point to the influx of liberal celebrities that could overwhelm their obesity treatment centers. My God. Because they’re fat. 

Last week, Donald Trump met with Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski at Mar-a-Lago. It was hard for them to see eye to eye since Trump only saw the tops of their heads. It’s polishing their shoes. Joe Biden appeared to wander off into the Amazon rainforest after making a statement. If you don’t know where he was, don’t worry. Neither did he. When told he was at the Amazon, Joe said, Tell them I paid for two days shipping on my Depends. 

Turns out the Harris campaign shelled out 2.5 million to Oprah for that disastrous Kamala town hall. Not the original 1 million, as reported. That payout comes to $10 a pound. I know. Funny. And Air Portugal flight was grounded after 132 hamsters ran loose around the plane. Didn’t Richard Gear announce he was leaving the country? I guess they found out where his lost luggage went. But passengers knew something was amiss when the pilot illuminated the clench your ass sign. Tight spaces. They love them. 

‘SANCTUARY CITY’ MAYOR VOWS SHE WILL DEFY TRUMP’S MASS DEPORTATION PUSH: ‘CAUSING WIDESPREAD FEAR’

Doctors are warning of a condition called winter penis, in which low temperatures can cause it to shrink by up to 50%. They’re also warning of Behar penis, in which exposure to Joy Behar can cause the penis to shrink in size of up to 90%. Finally, Snow White star Rachel Zegler has apologized for her anti-Trump post. It was the fakest apology since Bill Clinton said, I’m sorry to hear your parents are out of town. All right. It’s Monday. 

Over the weekend, Donald Trump hit Madison Square Garden again for another one of his unique Nazi rallies. You know, the ones that contain about as many Nazis as Ben Stiller’s bar mitzvah. To say he was greeted warmly would be like saying, I’m not a bad looking guy. Trump rolled in with his crew, including Elon, Tulsi, RFK, Vivek and Kid Rock. It looked like an ad for workplace diversity. Except these folks, they have accomplishments. Of course, it was a crowd of mostly men who were actually born that way. So Democrats worst nightmare. Thousands of penises and none inside a woman’s locker room. Of course, most of these dudes voted for Trump, as did their wives, girlfriends and pit bulls. Here’s some of what it looked like. 

Of course. But of course, CNN would reference ancient Rome. That’s the last time they had an audience. But it wasn’t just UFC celebrating. Trump’s dance took over the NFL. 

Now, if you listen carefully, you can actually hear Colin Kaepernick rolling over in his grave. And he’s not even dead. Yeah. But it’s the kind of thing that the other side could never achieve today. And right now, the Dems are asking themselves why. 

True, they literally have to pay their friends to hang out with them. It’s a question echoing throughout the liberalverse Why don’t we have a Rogan? Where’s our Elon? 

Well, it’s simple. You had Rogan, you had Elan, you even had me in college. But who didn’t? Back then, all it took was a lukewarm Zima. The truth is, in the intolerant world the Dems created, no one like Rogan or Musk can exist. And that’s because you attract people like that. You need freedom of thought. Or hell, any thought at all. 

So how did the Democrat Party get here? Well, first it was the lazy way out. Rather than making policies that benefit Americans. They slid mindlessly into the toxic path of identity politics. This wasn’t thinking. It was a cessation of thought. Like when you’re in a coma or watching Fox and Friends. 

Their discussions were never about what can we fix or what can we create. Instead, they began and ended with who I am and why it makes me better than you. They turned everything into an identity pissing contest with their egos as a diuretic. 

Now, if you could claim some intersectionality, you were a neighborhood celebrity, especially if that neighborhood was a college campus or a newsroom. But as these scolds got louder and louder and more of our media invertebrates cowered into line, the resistance started to look a lot like the First Amendment.

Ordinary people wanted the freedom from being canceled. And that’s where the Musks and Rogan’s came from. They were the revolution. They were the resistance. So you can’t be the resistance when you’re the machine controlling, controlling all thought. It’s why they couldn’t create their own Rush Limbaugh or their own Twitter. The left turned into everything they used to hate about the right. It’s been the ugliest transition since Admiral Levine turned in his boots for pumps. 

The machine can’t make its own resistance. The resistance leaves, and you’re left with humorless, hectoring hags like Joy Reid, who’s shedding viewers faster than her hair. So are the Dems ready to give up and grow up? Well, here is Jen Psaki doubling down on that dissent. Is this information that must be regulated? 

That was on Katie Couric’s podcast, which is slightly more thoughtful than our colonoscopy. But remember that still they embrace censorship rather than figure out what they did wrong. But there’s another reason the Democrat media complex can’t change ego. 

Rather than identify with the real people, they chose to please the peers in their industry because that’s where the cocktail party is. That’s where they can impress people who might write about them in Vanity Fair. Their egos need that, so they mirrored each other’s assumptions. It was a giant circle jerk – emphasis on jerk.

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But as they no longer identified with real people an orange billionaire with brass balls and a willingness to call Bull**** did it by standing up and yelling, Fight, fight, fight. He attracted renegades inspired by his fearlessness. You saw them at the UFC, on the street, at football games. They’re no longer afraid to speak their minds. And if you don’t like it, cool. There’s the door. If you can fit your fat ass through it.

Fox News host Sean Hannity ripped ‘Morning Joe’ co-hosts for their about-face on their rhetoric towards President-elect Trump on “Hannity.”

HANNITY: Tonight, the joy the Democrats tried so hard to manufacture during the election that ended up being a lot of hate is now spreading in reality across the country.

But it is not coming from the left. Americans from every race, religion – they are celebrating a new era in the Washington swamp. Donald Trump headed to the White House. Even pro athletes now – they’re showing their support. And coming up, we’re going to play the president-elect at his big entrance this weekend at Madison Square Garden, the UFC fight. 

Plus, take a look at your screen. We will let you know if your current president, Joe Biden, ever made it out of the rainforest. But first, a sudden change of heart from two ‘MSDNC,’ well, most anti-Trump hosts and that is the co-host of Liberal Joe, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski announcing that the pair attended breakfast, I can’t say that with a straight face, at Mar-a-Lago at their request with Donald Trump.

They must have spent three days working on what they were going to say after they had that meeting. All right. A few days ago, these two far-left radical hosts were comparing Trump to Hitler, calling him a racist and sexist and fascist. And now they’re kissing his ass, sucking up to them and having breakfast at Donald Trump’s house at their request. 

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Really? Mika said the election was literally a battle of life and death for eight plus long years. These two Trump haters have filled their morning program with anti-Trump hysteria. Conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. I could fill an entire three-hour show. I could do three nights in a row just playing clips of their insane over the top anti-Trump rage, hatred, name calling, conspiracies. I am being gracious in the spirit of joy. I’m only going to make you suffer through a very tiny example to make a point.

NHL referee Mitch Dunning was stretchered off of the ice during a game between the Colorado Avalanche and the Philadelphia Flyers on Monday night.

Dunning was skating away from the puck when Avalanche defenseman Josh Manson collided with him in the first period. Dunning hit the ice hard and was down for several moments as trainers and medical staff came out and attended to him.

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He was later taken off the ice on a stretcher.

“Referee Mitch Dunning has been taken to hospital for precautionary reasons following a collision in the @Avalanche / @NHLFlyers game,” the league said in a post on X. “All neurological signs are normal, he is fully communicative and can move all his extremities.”

The game was delayed several minutes.

BLUES PLAYER HIT IN NECK WITH PUCK, KEEPS PLAYING BEFORE EVENTUALLY BEING STRETCHERED OFF

Referee Mitch Dunning, bottom, lies on the ice after an injury during the first period of an NHL hockey game between the Philadelphia Flyers and the Colorado Avalanche, Monday, Nov. 18, 2024, in Philadelphia.  (AP Photo/Derik Hamilton)

Dunning is a former professional hockey player in the Ontario Hockey League. He played parts of three seasons with the Sarnia Sting and Windsor Spitfires. He suffered a serious knee injury during the 2010-11 season with the Spitfires.

He retired from hockey after he played for Windsor University during the 2012-13 season and turned to coaching before eventually getting into officiating in the Windsor Essex Referee Association in 2014.

He worked his way up the officiating ladder through the OHL, East Coast Hockey League, American Hockey League and later the NHL. He was offered a minor league refereeing contract in 2018 and promoted to the NHL in 2022.

Colorado Avalanche’s Josh Manson (42), right, talks to referee Mitch Dunning, center, as Dunning is stretchered off the ice after an injury during the first period of an NHL hockey game between the Philadelphia Flyers and the Avalanche, Monday, Nov. 18, 2024, in Philadelphia.  (AP Photo/Derik Hamilton)

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Dunning’s first NHL game was between the Florida Panthers and Ottawa Senators in March 2019, according to his NHL Officials Association bio.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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A metal sheet from the roof at AT&T Stadium fell down onto the field before the Dallas Cowboys hosted the Houston Texans for “Monday Night Football.”

Thankfully, no injuries came from the large metal piece falling from the roof shortly after it opened. 

FOX 4 Dallas’ Sam Gannon took a video of the sheet, which was placed up against an on-field suite, and it looked bent and dirty on the turf. 

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The piece did, however, fall near some production personnel as they were setting up for the game.

FOX 4 Dallas’ Jeff Kolb also shot video showing another loose piece of metal appearing to be on a large beam on top of the stadium. 

This situation unfolded as the Cowboys opened the roof for the first time in a home game since October 2022. But that quickly changed, as the roof was closed after the metal sheet fell.

“We can confirm a piece of metal came loose and fell to the field (with some additional small debris) while the roof was in the process of opening. There were no injuries,” a Cowboys spokesperson told the station. “It is being reviewed further, and a decision regarding the ability to re-open the roof safely will be made when possible.”

(Tim Heitman-Imagn Images)

The Cowboys, who are hosting their in-state rival Texans in desperate need of a win, have lost four straight games to make them 3-6 on the season.

Dak Prescott, the team’s franchise quarterback who signed an extension to make him the highest-paid signal-caller in the NFL this offseason, won’t be available for the rest of the year after needing surgery to repair a hamstring injury. 

That leaves Cooper Rush to start in his place for the second straight week, and the veteran backup is coming off a brutal performance against the division-rival Philadelphia Eagles. Rush was 13-of-23 for 45 yards in a game in which the offense only put up six total points.

Meanwhile, the Texans are in a bit of a skid themselves, losing back-to-back games, though they still own the division lead in the AFC South. 

A metal sheet fell on the AT&T Stadium field before “Monday Night Football” between the Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans. (KDFW FOX 4)

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C.J. Stroud does get his top receiver, Nico Collins, back on the field on Monday night, and Houston is hoping his return will spark a stalling offense of late.

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“The View” co-host Whoopi Goldberg did not further address the back-and-forth between herself and a Staten Island bakery, during “The View” on Monday, after she accused the bakery of denying her service over her politics. 

Goldberg and her co-hosts celebrated her 69th birthday on Wednesday with Charlotte Russe desserts, a nostalgic New York treat. Goldberg told the audience her birthday order had almost fallen through due to what she claimed was the bakery’s objection to her left-wing political stance.

“They said that their ovens had gone down, all kinds of stuff, but folks went and got them anyway, which is why I’m not telling you who made them,” said Goldberg. She suggested they might have denied the order because “they did not like my politics.” 

The bakery was later identified as Holtermann’s Bakery, a 145-year-old family-owned establishment on Staten Island, by examining the Charlotte Russe desserts themselves.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG WARNS TRUMP WILL BREAK UP INTERRACIAL MARRIAGES BY DEPORTING THE SPOUSES OF WHITE MEN

Bakery owner Jill Holtermann denied Goldberg’s version of the events, explaining that the bakery’s issues were not politically motivated but stemmed from mechanical problems with their boilers, an ongoing challenge in their building, which was built in 1930.

“I said to Whoopi, ‘I can’t do it right now’,” Holtermann told the outlet. “We have so many things going on with my boiler.” 

However, they ultimately did make the order as the co-hosts enjoyed the desserts live on air on Wednesday.

Holtermann appeared alongside Staten Island Borough President Vito Fossella, who explained what happened, at a press conference on Friday.

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“It’s been here 145 years. They had a boiler that was 60 or 70 years old. And the first week in November, guess what? It went on the fritz,” Fossella said. 

“They had it replaced. And the reputation of Holtermann’s is impeccable, so rather than commit to something they couldn’t guarantee, they said, ‘we can’t do it.’ And the person who besmirched, defamed them, took that as an insult to her. Well, get over it. This family will be here for, God willing, another 145 years.”

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Goldberg appeared to double down on her suggestion in a follow-up video posted on Friday.

“It does seem a little odd that when we called a few weeks before my birthday, and we were told they couldn’t process the order for my birthday because of an equipment failure,” Goldberg said in the follow-up video. “But somehow they were able to accept an order of a different 48 of the same dessert when somebody else called without using my name.”

“The View” did not immediately return a request for comment. 

Fox News’ Jasmine Baehr and Michael Dorgan contributed to this report. 

Trump campaign official Chris LaCivita predicted election officials in Pennsylvania will face jail time for counting mail-in ballots with either incorrect or missing dates after the state Supreme Court previously ruled such ballots should not be counted.

“They will go to jail,” LaCivita, Trump’s co-campaign manager, posted to his X account on Sunday evening. “Count on it.”

LaCivita was reacting to a social media post touting a Washington Free Beacon article detailing that Democratic Sen. Bob Casey endorsed Democratic Bucks County commissioner Diane Ellis-Marseglia last year during her campaign for the position, before she and other Democratic commissioners in the state voted to count the disqualified ballots. 

“I think we all know that precedent by a court doesn’t matter anymore in this country,” Ellis-Marseglia said Thursday as she and other Democrats voted to reject a GOP-led challenge to ballots that should be disqualified. 

PENNSYLVANIA DEMOCRATS OPENLY ADMIT TO COUNTING ILLEGAL BALLOTS IN MCCORMICK-CASEY RACE

Pennsylvania is in the midst of a ballot recount after Casey refused to concede his race against Sen.-elect Dave McCormick earlier this month. McCormick’s unofficial margin of victory stands at roughly 17,000 votes, or within the 0.5% threshold required under Pennsylvania law to trigger an automatic recount.

“Pennsylvanians deserve to have their voices heard, and the worth of someone’s vote is not determined by how long it takes to be counted,” Casey wrote in an op-ed defending his decision to not concede the race. “When a Pennsylvanian takes the time to cast a legal vote, often waiting in long lines and taking time away from their work and family, they deserve to have their vote counted, whether it is the first ballot counted or the last.”

The state Supreme Court ruled ahead of the election that mail-in ballots that do not include formally required signatures or dates should not be counted for the official tally of votes in the state. Democratic-led election boards, however — including in Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, and Centre County — bucked the state high court’s ruling and voted to include such ballots in the recount. 

“People violate laws any time they want,” Ellis-Marseglia said last week, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. “So, for me, if I violate this law it’s because I want a court to pay attention. There’s nothing more important than counting votes.”

REPUBLICANS FILE 12 PENNSYLVANIA LAWSUITS IN ‘AGGRESSIVE’ PUSH TO END RECOUNT

In addition to Casey endorsing the Democratic commissioner during her campaign last year, Ellis-Marseglia, as well as fellow Democratic Bucks County commissioner Bob Harvie, donated a combined $2,600 to the Casey campaign this year, the Washington Free Beacon reported. 

“Pennsylvanians deserve to have their voices heard, and the worth of someone’s vote is not determined by how long it takes to be counted,” Casey wrote in an op-ed defending his decision to not concede the race. (Mark Makela/Getty Images)

Republicans have launched a bevy of lawsuits over including the disqualified ballots in the recount. Republican Party officials are filing 12 lawsuits in Pennsylvania in order to protect the Senate seat.

‘ABSOLUTE LAWLESSNESS’: GOP BLASTS PA. DEMS’ RECOUNT EFFORT IN CASEY SENATE LOSS

Both national and state Republican parties have filed lawsuits in four counties across Pennsylvania, urging the courts to not count mail-in ballots with either incorrect or missing dates, in accordance with a Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruling this month.

McCormick’s unofficial margin of victory stands at roughly 17,000 votes, or within the 0.5% threshold required under Pennsylvania law to trigger an automatic recount. (Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)

RNC officials challenged the notion that the Senate recount, which continues through Nov. 26, will change the outcome of the election in any substantive way. They have decried the effort, which costs an estimated $1 million, as a waste of taxpayer money, noting that since 2000 there have been just three statewide election recounts in Pennsylvania, and each has resulted in an average change of 393 votes.

PENNSYLVANIA DEMOCRATS SLAMMED FOR COUNTING ILLEGAL BALLOTS IN SENATE RACE: UNBELIEVABLY ‘BRAZEN’

Trump campaign official Chris LaCivita predicted election officials in Pennsylvania will face jail time for counting mail-in ballots with either incorrect or missing dates after the state Supreme Court previously ruled such ballots should not be counted. (Fox News – Paul Steinhauser)

“Democrat officials are on video saying that they’re going to choose to break the law, and there will be legal consequences for that,” a senior party official told Fox News earlier Monday. 

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“The Casey campaign could end the recount at any time,” Pennsylvania Republican Party Chair Lawrence Tabas added of the lawsuits. “And there are political ramifications of eroding the voters’ confidence in elections that has been built. So we need to stop this attempt at electioneering and declare McCormick the winner.”